Just waiting....

I am growing....and growing and growing LOL Luckily we got through the house move just fine so now I am really ready. Not really ready for the pain, but the more I wait the bigger I get and the more nervous I get about having a vaginal birth, which I really want. Todd has been awesome with it all, what a huge help he is!!! I can see him getting excited and anxious. I think he really wants to tell people he's a Dad now rather than, nope still waiting LOL Say some prayers that our baby boy can come real soon and that he's safe, healthy and ready for life!

Happiest Birthday!!

Yes, I am now 34 years old, and I am happy about it! Sure I am one year older, but I had a whole year of full life, of new beginnings and promise. What a birthday I had and I thought that it wouldn't be good because of my huge belly!! I had an easy morning of doing odds and ends while the kids were in school. Todd came home early so I could get the baby checked, he came home with a beautiful dozen of roses. Of course I had to run off for my apt but those roses were so beautiful. He found a vase for them. 2 hrs later I return home to cooked dinner and two hyper excited kids because it's mommy's birthday. Matthew is telling me to look in here, we have a surprise for you. Of course I could have suspected a cake, but there were no dishes, it didn't smell like cake, but MAYBE he bought one, how sweet. So we eat dinner, YUM. The kids insist on the surprise, so Todd disappears into the bedroom and comes out with a cake with 34 candles!!!! He baked a cake, not just any cake but a diabetic friendly cake with two "little helpers". Wow. then the gifts come out. I was expecting one that I knew he bought me,a new Vera Bradley purse :) But Maria hands me a card signed by her and Matthew, how cute!!! She even picked out a present for me, a picture frame, which she tells me I can put a picture of baby brother in which I correct her and said I could put a picture of all three of my babies in! Then I see a Michael's Jewelers box! In it is a beautiful Sapphire ring!!! I'm so loved!! Also with my new ring is a thoughtful card which is my fav part :) And if the night couldn't get better, I don't even have to do bath for the kids! THe day couldn't be any better. Thank you so much Todd, I love you :)

I'm grown up!

Maria in all her great wisdom has announced that since her first tooth has fallen out she is now grown up :) This little tooth has been loose for a while, maybe for some time in her imagination but for some time anyhow. I have been instructing her to not bother it and let it fall out on its own. Finally her dream has come true! She was eating some popcorn and low and behold, her tooth falls out! She ran upstairs to find me and announce the big news! She's so excited that the tooth fairy now has to come visit her. She expects the tooth family to leave her five dollars, five quarters and five pennies because after all she's five years old :) She gets a box to put her tooth in, puts it under her pillow and anxiously falls asleep and wakes in the morning to find her treasure from the tooth fairy. She of course spends it that next day on littlest Pet shop toys. She is so proud of her missing tooth and now she has another tooth off to the tooth fairy. Can't help but look at her and see that she is yes indeed growing up.
All else is pretty good. My gallbladder pain has subsided due to taking all fat out of my diet. I get it scanned Thursday morning to make sure there's no stones in there. It was a relief that Dr Mihalek listened to me. I've been getting pretty good contractions but thankfully nothing regular, I am only 34 weeks and some change and we really need him in there at least two more weeks. Plus Grandma is out of town so he has to wait until the 8th :) We get measured and weight done on the 15th and find out if he'll be section or vaginal. I am scared either way :( What if he gets stuck if we go vaginal and how will I cope with the recovery of a c section if it goes that route? He's very active and has done well aside from the contractions, his heart looks great and his fluid levels are healthy. I can't believe that I will have three kids soon, Todd will be a Daddy and how different it will all be this time around. His swing is ready, carseat in the car and his big sister guessing his birth date and what he'll look like. My girlfriends are getting together Friday night for a baby celebration, I so can't wait. All my friends from different phases in my life, all important and love so much!
Court was court Monday, nothing happened, our hearing date will be March 17th, hopefully lucky day for me. I decided I just have more important things to stress about right now other than money, so it is officially off my plate, it feels good to give myself permission to do that.
The house closing is coming fast and furious! I am frantically looking for those who are better at bending over than me to help and just trying to get it out. It feels wierd to be there, not home, like a ghost life, revisiting an old old life. Instead of feeling the good times I feel this hollow me, hard to explain. It's sad. I will be glad when it's all final.
Todd has been such a trooper, I fall in love with him more and more every day. He's been such a pillar of strength and help and partnership. It's a good good life! I'm starting to believe that he actually really cares about ME! What a concept. I thank him all the time, but it doesn't seem enough. I hope I am spending the rest of my life finding ways to show my gratitude.

Rasie money for autism with just a click!

Every click these videos get .49 is raised for autism awareness. Can you believe that some families have diagnosed kids but they are on a waiting list for early intervention therapies. I know for certain that early intervention was key for Matthew's great success he has these days. Please help raise money! I have to post a video of him soon so you all can see the progress! Now of course he still has troubles communicating what his feelings are when he's upset and he has other autistic struggles but where he started from is way far back behind him! Anyway, please watch the videos and raise moeny for families to be able to get that early intervention that was so key for Matthew.

click here to raise money for autism

Tough times

Yesterday I started a pain above the right rib at 2PM, it really hurts. I saw the OB and he says uterine pressure on ribs, hah it hurts more than that. It gets worse after dinner, call the on call OB says it's the position of the baby, nah it hurts more than that. I decided to listen to my gut and go get checked out in ER. Labwork comes back normal, baby moving like nothing is up. AFter some serious tylenol, the pain is gone down to bearable. Today it still hurts. No explanation aside from easy things like gas or baby pressure. Whatever it is has me worried and in pain and not happy. I can hardly sit here and type. I hope it's nothing and goes away after baby comes. So when will that be? It's such astruggle to want him here and not wanting to go through the pain of birth. Where are these feelings coming from? I've done this twice, why do I want to back out this time? Why am I dreading delivery? Anything to relieve these pains, they're serious, and this is coming from a girl who had two non drug deliveries. It feels like my intestines are leaking acid or my gallbladder has stones or something but all the labs come back normal. Maybe I have an ulcer in my intestine or something. I miss my old self. THe one who was nearly tireless, played with my kids, scrapped, took pics and did all kinds of nice things for Todd. Thank God Todd and I talked and we decied it was ok to cancel my class. The syllabus was 21 pages long, just not happening. Court on Monday. They even supenaed the realtor, why couldn't they just get the records??? Moving my stuff out is just not happening. It's real hard to ask for Todd's help, hard to muster up the strength to do it myself and since Richard is going away that leaves me with the kids for three weekends in a row. I'll have to get a sitter or have Todd move the stuff, no fun either way. Man, complaining like this is so unlike me :( But it feels good to get it out. April is going to be a sweet month!! No more house, no more pregnancy, new baby, warmer weather! The good things going on is Todd's mom had a surprise shower for me last weekend, did I say that already? My friend Maria in NZ sent me this package FULL of baby stuff, all cute and man it was so fun going through that. I can't wait to go to NZ nad give her a BIG hug, she's so awesome, in more ways than one! And if it couldn't get better a message board I frequent lots (scrapbookers board) is thinking of giving me a virtual shower. So cool that even though the timing of this baby wasn't planned and we're not married, is still being celebrated. I just wish he would hurry up and finish developing and just COME ALREADY!

proud of my skier!

Maria went downhill skiing for the first time today!!! I was so proud of her. Of course I can't ski because of my belly but Todd could :) Since class didn't start until noon, she went down the intermediate hill with Todd. She skied between his legs while holding onto the pole. She even did the lift without too much trouble. Then she did awesome in school, going down the hill many many times, all alone!! She even learned how to stop!! I am sooo proud that she tried soemthing new, perhaps something even scary for a little kid, but she tried it and loved it!!!

Lucky Momma

Todd and I were talking yesterday about the kids. Yes they have their moments and have things to improve on, but they really are great kids. Todd had to put them on their buses yesterday morning because I had to take the three hr glucose test and make sure I got home in time in the afternoon. He enjoyed it, commenting on the fact they are good kids :) I'm such a proud momma!!! What a releif to know that he sincerely enjoyed the morning rush with them. :)
Christmas day was a healthy one!! Best gift I got this year (though I did get some great material things too). Of course all of Santa Todd's gifts were a hit! Mine were liked but soon forgotten about when they saw Santa Todd's. I swear, next year he's doing the shopping. Despite the "big gifts" Maria's favs were her littlest Pet shop houses and animals and her "recycled" thoughtful gift from her cousin Tienna that is an Ariel doll that goes in the bath tub. When we visited NY in the summer, Maria loved it but Tienna just couldn't part with it just yet. So for Christmas she wrapped it up all her self and wrote the tag, To Mrea, and Miss Maria was so thrilled, that dollie goes everywhere!! Matthew's favs were his ThinkFun Rushhour Train game! It's really meant for 8 yr olds and it's a mind puzzle of sorts, he had the car version already but now he has the bigger harder train version. Of course he had to share with Todd and Uncle Chris for a few days so they could master the hardest puzzle :) He also liked his new additions to his Geotrax trains, can you believe how big it has grown?? He thoroughly enjoyed the time he spnt with Todd building two different tracks with all his new train gadgets. They were both grinning and happily working on a nice continuous track, they even had enough stuff to build three levels!!! The kids are still too young to celebrate the new year, but I was happy and content knowing that they were safe in their beds dreaming new dreams and waiting for their dreams to come true! May the new year make your dreams become reality, I know much of mine have :)