Good Deed

So I get an IM from Todd in the afternoon, which I usually do :) And he says guess what? I can't think of what he is going to tell me. He says I was at WalMart to get your beef broth for you and I saw bikes out of the corner of my eye and decided to get Matthew his first two wheel bike :) See one of the reasons I love this man so much; always thinking of others :) I couldn't believe it, he bought a BIKE for Matthew?? He says of course if Matthew doesn't like it his son could use it :) Yes, now with another boy on the way, we have more uses for little boy things :) And he even bought the helmet to go with it! And then later in the week I was talking with Matthew's physical therapist at his PPT (which of course Daddy didn't attend or ask about) and she feels that strengthening his trunk will greatly improve many other troubles he has ie toe walking and balance. She said that a bike would be a great way to strengthen his body. Now of course Matthew, like many other LOW tone autistics, has "the fear of gravity" as she said. They feel very insecure with the poor balance and so they do things to feel more secure like W sitting, toe walking and just avoid activities that use balance. So Matthew saw the bike and was unsure. Then Todd whipped out the helmet with CARS on it! Well, he was just in love with the helmet and was pretty proud of himself when Todd asked for his elbow and he knew what it was :) He tried the bike like a good boy. He knew what to do. Now when it started moving he was alittle nervous, harder to balance. But we plan on trying just a little here and a little there. He's such a sweet boy, making such great strides, the milestones and language are such a sweeter feeling than ever before. This morning I woke him and laid next to him, I say good morning and he says nice to see you Mommy :) it did sound canned but it was also very heart felt :) My little guy is growing and he's going to be a great big brother :)

Giving thanks for my blessings

Well I frequent a message board of other moms expecting babies in March. One of the expecting moms just delivered her baby, at only 19 weeks a baby has no chance for survival. My heart just aches for her. Please pray for that mom and Dad, the baby's name was Gabriel Lynn (a little boy) I pray harder that this miracle baby boy stays in there for at least 16 more weeks. The thought scares the heck out of me, even though the timing fo this baby was not planned by us. I will not one more time be sad about getting big, I know Gabriel's mother will ache to have a bigger tummy.
My blessings besides the son in my tummy are the three in my life that I get to see every day. We all made a gingerbread house the other day, Halloween themed. WEll, I should say attempted. After all was said and done, the house sank to teh ground about three hrs after we finished it, but we had fun trying! I was glad I had my camera out to capture this impromptu kiss and hug that Todd got from Maria, so sweet. Matthew enjoyed his time even though Maria was correcting him the whole time LOL Simple happy times. Please pray for our baby to be healthy and to haev asafe entry into this world.

On the highest cloud!!

What a great pick me up! The day didn't start great, but it ended awesome! Maria has been having asthma troubles so she's been out of school. :( Richard kept Maria home from school which meant my plan for her to tell us what the baby was, was starting to fade. After he takes her to the DR to have the PED tell him what I told him, I talked to her and asked if she wanted me to come and get her to go to the u/s. Of course she does and so I have to make a special trip, cutting my time close, but I decide to do it. Saved that plan! My 3D ultrasound that Maria from NZ bought me was scheduled for 3PM yesterday. I get a call from the tech and she says the machine is broken we have to reschedule. OMG, you can't do this to me!! She says I might be able to get in later which of course is rush hr and we want to avoid. I am so bummed, say a prayer, drive off to Bristol to get Maria as soon as I get Matthew off the bus; just put him straight in the car. On the way to Bristol I get a call that the machine is fixed and that we can come for 3PM Halleluia!!! WE grab lunch, get Matthew's costume and then head off to Wallingford to get Todd for the big u/s! I told the tech that when she knows that she can whisper it to Maria and have Maria tell us! I so wish I had my camera!!! I forgot it on my desk :( So Maria really wanted a sister, but she still turns to us with a huge grin, speechless for a moment and then says it's a boy!! i could already tell on the u/s it wasn't hard to tell! Todd was in suspense though LOL I couldn't wait for the words to come out of her mouth. I must say I thought Todd would have been more emotional but he wasn't, which is fine. I really thought it was a girl and had him convinced probably. He was still holding my hand and watching the screen in complete concentration. She switched between 3D and 2D the whole time and had me rolling over to try and get better pics. I wish I could post the video... She never charged me for the 3D because she thought that she didn't get a good pic, so that was cool! Todd gets to name the baby and he won't give it the official name until he sees the baby. His top Name is Benjamin Warren (Warren after his grandfather) and the second name is David and he wants to think of one more in case it doesn't look like either. heere is the new man in my life! Crazy!! A boy!! 2 boys and a princess I have been blessed with!!

Picture Day

Wow, the kids had picture day just last week and look at these pics. I couldn't help but take pics myself, they look so grown up. Maria likes to dress up so she wasn't hard. Matthew was ok but he never likes getting dressed in the morning, leaving his warm comfy pajamas. Matthew is doing so well is school, it shows mostly in his language. He has sentences now! HE asks things that he wants to know or tfor things he wants that aren't just the things he needs :) He's getting less and less baby boy and really is a big boy, though when he starts laughing he sounds like the Matthew buddy boy I've known all along. Maria had another run in with stealing, the teacher actually called me this time :( She asked me to have Maria write a letter of apology which I did and we told her that if she did this again it would mean loss of recess. So far so good; it's been a week ;) The kids are growing and I am just so proud of them, despite the stealing.
The house still hasn't sold. This Sunday is an open house. Todd and I made good progress on cleaning out the basement nad straightening the garage like the realtor asked us to. I lowered the price and the market is getting a tad better, let's hope enough to sell after this open house. The more time that goes by the more nervous I get.
SChool is going ok. The math class is not my favorite and it doesn't hlep that the teacher is no good. There is one girl inther who isa math major that seems to be the only one that knows what's she doing. She helps us all out before the teacher gets there or while he's out of the room. My School and Society class is interesting, but there's so much work there. My paper and presentation are due Oct 29th! ANd I also have a midterm paper due that day :( My paper has yet to be started and my presentation is only in my mind still. Of course my paper is on autism :) For most of the presentation I plan on making a DVD about the signs adn symptoms using pics of Matthew. NAd of course to also include a plea to the public to be understanding of these kids with disabilites that are just innocently trying to be happy in this world. Prayers I get the strength and time to get these papers done!
Divorce #2 as I lovingly call it will be underway some time this week. I went and saw my new lawyer and she seems pretty confident that I could even keep my current alimony amount; that my original settlement was kinda crappy for my ex being a DR. I emailed Barry last night with TOdd by my side that I was not signing the proposed agreeement and unless I get X amount that I was not signing any documents in their offices. Richard will now have to serve me with court papers as a motion to modify settlement and then I will call my lawyer Karen, for her to depose him and get a hearing date. She was talking yesterday about testifying and all that and memories of my childhood came rushing back. Ugh.
Today I am 17W 3D pregnant. Still no huge movements from baby below. Next week is when the baby will have hearing so we're excited about that. Todd has said he wants to talk to the baby so that it knows his voice when it's born. I still feel tired and my belly is growing but hardly any tummy trouble, just heartburn :( Tuesday is when we find out who's in there. I am so gratfeul to have a man like Todd going through this with me. He gets more and more excited the bigger my belly gets. And he really sincerely doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl. WE just get closer and closer and more connected as time goes on. He's a true blessing, and a true partner and team member.

Fall Fun

This weekend was a nice break from the reality of life. We all played like kids and forgot about the outside world. Saturday we went to the Durham fair. I wish I wasn't getting so lazy about carrying my camera around; we really need to get a pocket camera. Anyway, boy did the kids have fun. We spent a small fortune on rides,admission and food (probably $60) but those smiles were priceless. Maria is getting more brave about going on rides alone yippee! And Matthew doesn't seem to be bothered so much of loud noises and that crowd sound. He went on teh train track ride, the firetrucks and the huge banana slide with Todd. He went in a bouncy house that had a climbing wall and a huge slide down which he loved too. That was the first thing we went on and he kept wanting to go back, all protests with tears. But we fed him and he seemed much more balanced and we went on the rides after that. there was also lots of animals to pet and see which they enjoyed. There was this big sheep that was sticking out its tongue and then baa-ing really loudly, full belly laughs from the kids. We ended the night with listening to a band, 38 Special, and pony rides. Todd as usual was a huge help!! Sunday we went apple picking. A small hay ride out to the trees. We pciked Cortlands for Todd and Macouhns for me :D. Matthew started just picking up all the apples off the ground and throwing them in our bucket, so Todd decided that the best place for himmwas his shoulders. The look of Todd's face everytime Matthew grabbed a cluster of apples off the tree right above Todd was priceless. Maria took the job very seriously and taste tested many apples along the way LOL. After picking we went to the little store and bought cider donuts-YUM! I hope these are things the kids remember for a long time to come.
SChool for all three of us is going ok. Maria's teacher called me yesterday to tell me that she was caught stealing again from the classroom. I just don't know what to do!! I made her write a letter to Mrs Tanner and told her if she was caught again that she would have to start losing priveledges in school like recess. Matthew loves all his teachers, knows all their names which tells me they are all pretty involved with him, what a great feeling. In Bristol he only knew Mrs Mancini's name, and he's been attending Colchester a shorter amount of time than he was in BRistol. He sings lots of songs from school and the basic concept they're teaching right now is same and different. My school is jugging along. Boy do I hate math! The other class is lots of reading and stress related to my paper I have to write and the presentation. The midterm will be assigned next week.

the baby is doing well as far as we know. It feels odd to not have seen it aside from the last time as a blob at 8 weeks. I could not afford to do the triple screen test, $361. as I had to take the prenatal panel blood test at $369. This baby has cost me $4000. so far, the cost of a healthy baby is afterall, not priceless, but a prayer we pray every night that is answered. teh ehart rate looms around 140, could be boy or girl. I am still trying to figure out exactly what gencer I want, doesn't every one want one or the other, but I just can't decide, healthy is my biggest worry and weighs heavy on my mind. We find out onthe 16th who is really in there.

Moving along....

Can you believe I am procrastinating against homework??? Good thing the internet wasn't around when I was in high school or I probably would have failed :) My two grad courses are going ok. One is interesting but lots of work, reading, papers, presentation due 10/29 and midterm paper and also a lesson plan. The other class started rough with a substitute teacher, his wife, who speaks italian orignally and anyone who knows me knows I have hearing troubles and I have a hard time understanding accents. But he showed up this past week and he seems very methodical which I need in a statistics class. A nice girl sits next to me in class too, so that helps :) I don't know her name or what she teaches or anything but we share a hate for Math which maybe is enough to start a friendship. She is newly engaged I know, and I am sure she looks at me wondering with my belly where my ring is and what's the scoop. I think I'll let her wonder a bit longer. I have math homework for that class and since we're going to Maine this weekend I need to get it done by tomorrow. Hopefully the fact that Todd rocks in Math will save me. That guy is amazing I tell you!
The kids are adjusting to school. Matthew has a clod and just passed it to Maria and myself. Of course with disgust she told me this morning that she doesn't want Matthew standing next to her, she doesn't want more cold. Funny. I told her she can't get more you have one or you don't. Matthew's teacher I can tell just adores him! I was so filled with pride when she was telling me about his abilities. And when I ask about his challenges she tells me, we'll teach him, we can help! No comments from the teacher about Maria yet. Which actually is a good thing, considering Maria "stole" some little figurines from her class that I had to make her return. Maria, my sweet girl, rationalizes everything she does just alittle too well.
AS far as the Baby Simonds front, well, I am finally starting to feel better. Once in a while I can feel the flutters in my tummy. I still can't believe that I am pregnant again, this wasn't suppose to happen. Am I good enough to be a mom of three? Will they be healthy? Is autism lurking in there? Will Todd like being a Dad? WIll he see the joys that I do and will the joys be enough to overcome the overwhelmingness I am sure we'll experience? is it a boy or a girl?
The house has had no bites, only one showing the first day it was onthe market. Our first open house is Sunday. The house HAS to sell by December. Very scary. I need as much money from that house, especially with Richard taking all of my alimony, well, trying. The deal that is being offered is $10,500. for college and then $8000. to live off of for two years. How will that work? I can't put Matthew in daycare to work. Todd pays alimony already and has a very high mortgage because of his divorce. I know I live with Todd and it's not Richard's job to support me completely, but $4000. dollars a year is not going to go anywhere. That amount means $76. a week, which wouldn't even be groceries. So the girl who had no moral choice to get divorced in the first place, after supporting him throguh medical school and making the numerous "sacrifice a Dr's wife makes" gets nothing in the end but debt. The house is my only saving grace. I will see a lawyer to see if I could get anywhere in court, the compensentory route. The kicker, Richard coould pay me what I need to just pay expenses, with just his organ playing money, not even delving into his salary. ANd let's not forget the $$ that I owe him from the house sale (which is where the $ right now will come from, I will still owe him $36,000. after I sell the house) The guy has money, he's been living for free basically the past 1.5 yrs at his parent's house. Just seems unfair for me to pay the price for his extra activities for four years.
Summer is over. We did one last trip to the beach on Friday. It wasn't too cold, the kids had a blast. Matthew was far too brave this time, next year for certain we will need a life vest. Autistic kids just have no sense of fear or consequences. Here are the pics :)
Please pray for my buddy Ethan who is having a very important test today, http://www.ethanpowell.com, click on updates at the top. Think good thoughts about my house please too :)

Orientation and First Day!

Orientation went great, Matthew's teachers are super nice and she kept reassuring me that he was in good hands, I must have looked nervous :) He gave me alittle grief at home about not wanting to go but once we got there he was fine. I think there's one more autistic kid in the class, from what I can tell, time will tell. I am so shy but if I wasn't I would have asked them if their child was. Maria went with Todd and had a good time meeting her teacher. The teacher was reading about raccoons and Maria told her that she knew about raccoons and that were nocturnal! The class made a reaction to the word nocturnal and Maria took it as they laughed at her, poor thing is so sensitive. I tried to tell her that they weren't laughing at HER, not sure if I was successful. The first day went without a hitch. They both looked cute in their first day clothes. Maria's bus comes at about 7:50 and Matthew's at 8. I have to keep Matthew inside or else he has a fit that he missed his bus, meaning Maria's but he doesn't get that :( Matthew rides a van, the same driver these two days so that's a plus :) He wasn't sure about the seat since it was different, but no tears about it. Matthew came home first since his day is shorter by 20 minutes. He was happy to see me of course :) Maria's bus didn't come home until 12:40 but I imagine that's a beginning of school thing. She said she had fun but she was worried that Mrs Tanner has lots of rules. And she also said she has a boyfriend and a best friend already! Of course I aksed her for names and she said they never told her. I started asking her questions to see if I could ring a bell in the name (I remember some from the open house) Come to find out they are kids on the bus not her class, but she was all bothered by my questions and she says, you never listen to me do you, I told you, they never told me their names! Funny girl!! Here's there pics! Success all around. The year is going to be great, aside from some pushes of the limit from Maria :)