2008

I was thinking today, what will the new year bring....REALLY? How badly I wish I knew :) The things I want this year are things I really really want :) I rub my belly every morning day and night praying for a healthy baby for our family. And how much better can I show Todd I love him than giving him a healthy baby boy? Two families I pray for right now are both losing their little boys, one is four years old and the other just a young 12 months. http://www.ethanpowell.com and the other website you need to be a member of, but I promise you he's the sweetest boy alive! I often wonder why? I of course also want Maria and Matthew's good health to continue. What do you have in life if you don't have good health? I also want my house to sell. The financial ramifications of divorce are mounting. I've had one offer but it was a real lousy one, one that even I couldn't take. Very discouraging.
My belly grows very large. Kinda worrisome, I don't want anything to happen to the baby during delivery, or ever. I failed my one hour glucose test which means I could have gestational diabetes. I don't know much about it except that most GD babies are born large, that I would be living like a diabetic for 10 weeks with needle pricks and diet and that this baby would have increased chances of being a type I diabetic. I have my three hour glucose test on Wednesday morning to see if I have in fact developed diabetes.
Of course I haev pics to share but Iw anted to wish you all a healthy new 2008 year!!!

Cookies!

Despite my tiredness and size I am keeping up with the holiday traditions including making our cookie press cookies. This year was actually pretty easy. The kids are getting older and I am knowing what to do and not to do. They both were able to operate the press alone and knew how to count so they didn't come out too small or too big.
To all of you who read Merry Christmas and may your new year be filled with good health and happiness!!!

First Snow Day!

I think the kids are already on vacation because they did not have school for the past three Mondays and then they missed Thursday and Friday of last week, all from weather. Today Matthew missed from being sick :( But he seems better already :)
Thursday the kids were so excited about snow they actually sat on Maria's bed together and waited for the first flake. I think Matthew found one :) As soon as the first one fell Maria wanted to get bundled up to go out. Once Todd came home early they were off and ready. Matthew doesn't love the cold but he likes the sled so he tolerates the cold for the sled. Something usually happens that makes him want to come in. Today it was he tripped and got snow on his face, a tiny bit but still enough to send him in for a good cry :( But I got a few shots of him riding the sled and crawling in the snow like acat. Maria is the total opposite. She will stay out forever!!! Todd stayed outside and played with them for a good 45 minutes until he was finally done. Maria stayed out for another 15 minutes before she came in for her hot chocolate. As for me, I can't stay out too long :( I don't fit into my nice comfy winter coat and my snow pants don't fit either :( Luckily I have a view of the whole backyard from the sliding doors. Even though with snow days they don't go to school. the bright side is they give no fuss for going to bed :) they're pooped!

Tree Hunt

We got our tree the weekend after Thanksgiving. Maria just loves the holiday prep and we couldn't wait to get a tree. We went to the same farm as last year, Charlie Brown Christmas Tree Farm. Matthew loves Charlie Brown so he thought it was neat. In past years Maria took getting the tree a very serious business, Matthew more of a trouble because of the cold and people and fuss about nothing. This year Maria was her traditional self, but Matthew wasn't. He got out of the car with feet running! Maria loved every tree we saw, even the not so pretty ones. Matthew still didn't care about the tree but he LOVED hiding in the trees. he would run and run, ducking in between, squeezing through and laughing quietly as he heard the panic in Mommy's voice. Did he answer when I called him, of course not! It was a real distraction for me, but at least it was better than the previous years' crying. We all finally settled on this tree, after about 10 minutes. If we didn't settle soon I could tell Maria would want more than one. As I kept an eye on Matthew, Maria took to business cutting the tree down. She just loves to be involved and help :) This year it was too hard for her to get underneath so she helped prune the branches after it was cut down. And of course with pride she helped drag the tree home. Todd put an end to my stress by carrying Matthew on his shoulders, after a final chase of course. I followed with camera in hand admiring my little family and grinning of the thought of with God's blessing another child next year. It was fun, carefree and memorable, just as it should be. WE decorated soon after, which both took as an important job.

"baby brother" is doing great! I feel him kicking all the time :) Sometimes he gets me real good! CAn you believe how big my belly is?? he's growing! WE're getting so excited for him to join us. Maria tells me all the time what she will do with baby brother, what she will teach him, how she will rock him and what he'll look like and do as he grows. It's real sweet. Matthew still calls him Chicken Nugget, crazy child! But of course he says it with such affection. I relly think he gets it, is it possible though? He kisses and hugs my belly and says baby brother, yells into my tummy and calls it chicken nugget to get a reaction out of us :) YEs, life is good.

Busy but Good

I know I am behind on pictures. If I could explain to my grad professors that I need to post pics and to give me an extention on my projects I would :) WE are busy here, but it is a good busy. We just got back our family pictures and I just look at it amazed. Amazed that I found someone so right to share life with, so amazed that those two children once were in my tummy just as this baby is now. Amazed that I have had the opportunity to feel such gratefulness and gratitude for my life. OF course my belly is getting bigger than it should now, I am starting to get the big kind of tired, the kids want everything they see on TV and are impateint for every holiday tradtiion to come so they can do it. The shopping is tiring, the financial worry of it all grates at my nerves but you know what? I am healthy, my kids are healthy my loved ones are healthy and that is SO much to be celebrating. I look at that picture above and for the first time I can say those smiles and hugs are really there. The love you see, the happiness there is REAL. How blessed I feel among all the rush and studying and worries and fears...I am so blessed.

Halloween Night

This is a tough holdiay to share with an ex that lives 35 minutes away so I am afraid next year we'll have to start taking turns :( But this year we tried to get some in. Maria did have a Halloween party here in Colchester with a friend so I was able to get some pictures of her all dressed up then :) Anyway! Matthew had a cold this halloween but despite that he was able to have fun! he was so cute all dressed up, wanting to be like Maria :) Maria just loved being scary this year :) First they went off to Daddy's and Nonna got them these really cute trick or treat bags from CA. They came back to us here at 7 so we did about 6 houses. Matthew was begging for more! But it was a school night and time for bed at a late hr of 8PM. Of coursethe one night I really wnat to walka dn take pics my hip was hurting from my pregnancy affected ligaments. I hobbled along but it did not afford me lots of great pics. Matthew is also getting really hard to photograph again. It is so hard to get him to look at me! I have sooo many pics of him looking sideways or down or even the back of his head. Of course tehy got lots of treats but only like a handful so we get the rest, yikes! After the night was done and succecssful we couldn't help but think next year we'll have one more added to the group :)
I just finished a midterm in one class this week, a test in the other, so the year seems to be winding down for one class and a few more things in the other. Next semester I have decided I could only handle one class with a newborn baby and my two big kids. I hope my grades are going well.
AS far as the divorce front I think Richard is finally taking me seriously and knowing that the collaborative process is over unless he negotiates fairly. Maybe I will see papers being served soon?
Baby boy is doing well. At our appt last Tuesday he measured 10 days ahead and looked nice and healthy. We decided to get the triple screen test done and should have results today :) WE were confirmed of boy status so we have bought a few baby clothes since I have nothing left from Matthew as a baby. We did a registry at Babies R US to keep ourselves organized of what we'll need for the little guy :) Todd's first so he had fun experiencing the zap a baby product! he feels badly that we registered for some big things we "need" but I reassured him that it was really just a list of things we can refer to when we're crazy without sleep and in disarray from a newborn lifestyle. Still can't believe I am having another one. I am finally starting to feel him kick, though still pretty subtle. Maria just can't wait to feel him!!

Carving Pumpkins!

We took some time Sunday night to carve our Halloween pumpkins. These pumpkins aren't just any olde pumkins but were grown in Marge's garden (Todd's mom), so we invited them over to watch her pumpkins turn into works of art :) First we dug them out which they both did great at, both needing alittle help of course (and a slight reaction from Matthew of the slimy texture but recovered pretty quickly):) then it was time to draw what they wanted to carve. Maria knew right away and got to work. Matthew on the other hand needed alittle help, which Todd is always willing to give. Todd drew pictures on paper to give Matthew choices of what kind of eyes, mouth and nose he wanted, scary happy or sad. Matthew chose scary eyes and happy mouth and triangle nose! Hand over hand they drew his choices together. First Maria carved hers and being the crafter that she is, worked in deep concentration only to break out a smile when her work of art emoerged! Todd helped her do the cutting and he did the mouth she drew, with its jagged teeth and all. We were all proud of how cute her jack o lantern came out. Then it was on to Matthew's turn to carve. I can tell that life with a left hander is going to be a tad different :) Todd and Matthew carved and carved until it was all done. Matthew's favortie part was of course pulling out the pieces once they were cut. It was great to have Todd's mom with a helping hand, she even toasted the seeds as a snack. The final touch was to see how they glowed and how scary they can be. I love my little pumpkins!

Good Deed

So I get an IM from Todd in the afternoon, which I usually do :) And he says guess what? I can't think of what he is going to tell me. He says I was at WalMart to get your beef broth for you and I saw bikes out of the corner of my eye and decided to get Matthew his first two wheel bike :) See one of the reasons I love this man so much; always thinking of others :) I couldn't believe it, he bought a BIKE for Matthew?? He says of course if Matthew doesn't like it his son could use it :) Yes, now with another boy on the way, we have more uses for little boy things :) And he even bought the helmet to go with it! And then later in the week I was talking with Matthew's physical therapist at his PPT (which of course Daddy didn't attend or ask about) and she feels that strengthening his trunk will greatly improve many other troubles he has ie toe walking and balance. She said that a bike would be a great way to strengthen his body. Now of course Matthew, like many other LOW tone autistics, has "the fear of gravity" as she said. They feel very insecure with the poor balance and so they do things to feel more secure like W sitting, toe walking and just avoid activities that use balance. So Matthew saw the bike and was unsure. Then Todd whipped out the helmet with CARS on it! Well, he was just in love with the helmet and was pretty proud of himself when Todd asked for his elbow and he knew what it was :) He tried the bike like a good boy. He knew what to do. Now when it started moving he was alittle nervous, harder to balance. But we plan on trying just a little here and a little there. He's such a sweet boy, making such great strides, the milestones and language are such a sweeter feeling than ever before. This morning I woke him and laid next to him, I say good morning and he says nice to see you Mommy :) it did sound canned but it was also very heart felt :) My little guy is growing and he's going to be a great big brother :)

Giving thanks for my blessings

Well I frequent a message board of other moms expecting babies in March. One of the expecting moms just delivered her baby, at only 19 weeks a baby has no chance for survival. My heart just aches for her. Please pray for that mom and Dad, the baby's name was Gabriel Lynn (a little boy) I pray harder that this miracle baby boy stays in there for at least 16 more weeks. The thought scares the heck out of me, even though the timing fo this baby was not planned by us. I will not one more time be sad about getting big, I know Gabriel's mother will ache to have a bigger tummy.
My blessings besides the son in my tummy are the three in my life that I get to see every day. We all made a gingerbread house the other day, Halloween themed. WEll, I should say attempted. After all was said and done, the house sank to teh ground about three hrs after we finished it, but we had fun trying! I was glad I had my camera out to capture this impromptu kiss and hug that Todd got from Maria, so sweet. Matthew enjoyed his time even though Maria was correcting him the whole time LOL Simple happy times. Please pray for our baby to be healthy and to haev asafe entry into this world.

On the highest cloud!!

What a great pick me up! The day didn't start great, but it ended awesome! Maria has been having asthma troubles so she's been out of school. :( Richard kept Maria home from school which meant my plan for her to tell us what the baby was, was starting to fade. After he takes her to the DR to have the PED tell him what I told him, I talked to her and asked if she wanted me to come and get her to go to the u/s. Of course she does and so I have to make a special trip, cutting my time close, but I decide to do it. Saved that plan! My 3D ultrasound that Maria from NZ bought me was scheduled for 3PM yesterday. I get a call from the tech and she says the machine is broken we have to reschedule. OMG, you can't do this to me!! She says I might be able to get in later which of course is rush hr and we want to avoid. I am so bummed, say a prayer, drive off to Bristol to get Maria as soon as I get Matthew off the bus; just put him straight in the car. On the way to Bristol I get a call that the machine is fixed and that we can come for 3PM Halleluia!!! WE grab lunch, get Matthew's costume and then head off to Wallingford to get Todd for the big u/s! I told the tech that when she knows that she can whisper it to Maria and have Maria tell us! I so wish I had my camera!!! I forgot it on my desk :( So Maria really wanted a sister, but she still turns to us with a huge grin, speechless for a moment and then says it's a boy!! i could already tell on the u/s it wasn't hard to tell! Todd was in suspense though LOL I couldn't wait for the words to come out of her mouth. I must say I thought Todd would have been more emotional but he wasn't, which is fine. I really thought it was a girl and had him convinced probably. He was still holding my hand and watching the screen in complete concentration. She switched between 3D and 2D the whole time and had me rolling over to try and get better pics. I wish I could post the video... She never charged me for the 3D because she thought that she didn't get a good pic, so that was cool! Todd gets to name the baby and he won't give it the official name until he sees the baby. His top Name is Benjamin Warren (Warren after his grandfather) and the second name is David and he wants to think of one more in case it doesn't look like either. heere is the new man in my life! Crazy!! A boy!! 2 boys and a princess I have been blessed with!!

Picture Day

Wow, the kids had picture day just last week and look at these pics. I couldn't help but take pics myself, they look so grown up. Maria likes to dress up so she wasn't hard. Matthew was ok but he never likes getting dressed in the morning, leaving his warm comfy pajamas. Matthew is doing so well is school, it shows mostly in his language. He has sentences now! HE asks things that he wants to know or tfor things he wants that aren't just the things he needs :) He's getting less and less baby boy and really is a big boy, though when he starts laughing he sounds like the Matthew buddy boy I've known all along. Maria had another run in with stealing, the teacher actually called me this time :( She asked me to have Maria write a letter of apology which I did and we told her that if she did this again it would mean loss of recess. So far so good; it's been a week ;) The kids are growing and I am just so proud of them, despite the stealing.
The house still hasn't sold. This Sunday is an open house. Todd and I made good progress on cleaning out the basement nad straightening the garage like the realtor asked us to. I lowered the price and the market is getting a tad better, let's hope enough to sell after this open house. The more time that goes by the more nervous I get.
SChool is going ok. The math class is not my favorite and it doesn't hlep that the teacher is no good. There is one girl inther who isa math major that seems to be the only one that knows what's she doing. She helps us all out before the teacher gets there or while he's out of the room. My School and Society class is interesting, but there's so much work there. My paper and presentation are due Oct 29th! ANd I also have a midterm paper due that day :( My paper has yet to be started and my presentation is only in my mind still. Of course my paper is on autism :) For most of the presentation I plan on making a DVD about the signs adn symptoms using pics of Matthew. NAd of course to also include a plea to the public to be understanding of these kids with disabilites that are just innocently trying to be happy in this world. Prayers I get the strength and time to get these papers done!
Divorce #2 as I lovingly call it will be underway some time this week. I went and saw my new lawyer and she seems pretty confident that I could even keep my current alimony amount; that my original settlement was kinda crappy for my ex being a DR. I emailed Barry last night with TOdd by my side that I was not signing the proposed agreeement and unless I get X amount that I was not signing any documents in their offices. Richard will now have to serve me with court papers as a motion to modify settlement and then I will call my lawyer Karen, for her to depose him and get a hearing date. She was talking yesterday about testifying and all that and memories of my childhood came rushing back. Ugh.
Today I am 17W 3D pregnant. Still no huge movements from baby below. Next week is when the baby will have hearing so we're excited about that. Todd has said he wants to talk to the baby so that it knows his voice when it's born. I still feel tired and my belly is growing but hardly any tummy trouble, just heartburn :( Tuesday is when we find out who's in there. I am so gratfeul to have a man like Todd going through this with me. He gets more and more excited the bigger my belly gets. And he really sincerely doesn't care if it's a boy or a girl. WE just get closer and closer and more connected as time goes on. He's a true blessing, and a true partner and team member.